To My Brother

Today I decided to recall those days when you were still in Mama’s tummy. I decided to feel again the excitement which got so intense every day for nine months. I want to bring back those moments when I was six-years old. For six long years I felt alone and hopeful that one day, I’ll hug a buddy. The most exciting part then aside from your birth was the brainstorming on what name we should give you. Well, I contributed some but I think our parents did not like them. Yet I was so happy when Robert James came to our lives dated March 10, 1998.

Time really went so fast and this year you will turn 16 already. I know this will be one of your memorable years for you will enter college. I tell you, it will really be; in a positive and negative way. Just maintain that thrill because that will lead you to learning. Don’t hesitate to call, brother! I’m not here to dictate you how to spend your college-life but to guide you how to make it awesome.

You know what I want to bring back? It’s that time when I was naïve and not thinking how I can live life and put cash in my pocket. Because it’s the time when I was your strict teacher and we were with our door that we used as blackboard; it’s during Christmas when we bravely created our two-membered choral with spoons and forks as our instruments (because we did not want to share aguinaldo with other kids); it’s when we were rolling on each other in bed before sleeping; it’s when we were flying kites with Papa; it’s when we quarrel who to wash the dishes; and it’s when we play together.

J, now I want to say sorry. Sorry because I was your brother only until Kuya was 13 and you seven. Sorry because after that, I became eager chasing happiness, success, fame, wealth. Sorry because I felt we were so different in many aspects when you began to search your horizon. Sorry because I became cold and short-tempered. Sorry because Kuya did not reach out. Instead, I played on my own.

I know my selfishness resulted to challenges you are experiencing now. Let me be your Kuya again. I am trying to be more open to you and I hope you will, too. Kuya is just here and let’s be the best of friends. I want to share these things which I should have shared to you before. These are the two words I want you to remember:

Be Yourself

You don’t have to be Kuya or anyone in this world. And you don’t have to please anyone even Mama, Papa, your teachers, or your friends. Just live with the heart that’s align with God and the rest will follow. I am praying that someday you’ll completely understand what I am saying.

When I was in high school, they used to tease me gay, lame, unfashionable, boring. But they never called me idiot or stupid because they know I was not. I am so grateful until now that God made me realize that the coolest and bravest men are with Him.

But I also tried to be the ‘cool’ guy this world is telling us. I tried hard to fit in the standard of the society. There I tried my first and last sift of smoke (I really hate that feeling), drunk until I lost conscience, and cut several classes. Now you know I tried those when all this time you assumed I did great with my life (but please don’t tell Mama and Papa. Hehe!). Those experiences brought me temporary happiness. After that I felt guilty, ashamed, and hopeless.

What I want to tell you is to have the right mind-set of learning and happiness. You will achieve this when you know who you are and live wholly as the person you want to be. I know you don’t want to be the RJ who smokes, who gets sober, without dreams. I know you want to achieve something big for you and our family. Then, focus on those dreams! Be with the right people! Make the right steps! Choose the things that offer real learning and everlasting happiness.

I believe I will see a great man someday. And I’ll remain proud that I am his Kuya. Robert James Pillejera Bariso knows God; always hits the baseball for a home run; will be one of the most successful electrical engineers or businessmen; and will be the best husband and father.

J, you don’t need to be perfect in our eyes. You just need to be the son of God. Accept Him and acknowledge that He wants the best for you. WE LOVE YOU! – Kuya J

Influential People

They said there is no ‘original’ book; every book is composed of several manuscripts the author has read. Man, on the other hand, I believe isn’t original too; he is molded from other people’s ideas and influence. But every person can be crafted uniquely depending on WHAT ‘stimulus’ he wants to take in. Who’s passing the ‘microbes’ isn’t important. The person who’s receiving is the one responsible of sifting the good or bad bacteria.

I remember a quotable quote from one of my mentors, “To be good, you need to meet different people as much as you can. And get each of that person’s good characteristics.” Since then I became eager socializing, attending more events, and trying new things. Since then I sieved various traits I encounter from the people I know for quite some time and from the strangers I first meet.

Indeed, the ‘strategy’ is very effective. And it’s time to thank those people who injected something in me without them knowing. The following are the people I AM: 

• Nenia P. Bariso. My mother who is so transparent yet so sturdy. She taught me how to be kind and treat other people special. It’s easy for her to say her life to the people around her -- she is an open book. However, she still manages to be ‘durable’ despite her see-through life. I remember how she kicked that ‘rapist’ customer who touched her butt when we were still selling barbeque. Don’t get me wrong. My mother is the nicest person you could meet, but don’t mess with her (being influenced by my mom, don’t mess with me too). J
• Roberto B. Bariso. My father is everyone’s clown and our family’s source of strength. This man has his unique sense of humor that you’ll crave every day. He knows how to make you smile in your saddest. But eventually, you’ll realize that there’s something deep in some of the jokes he throws. That’s how he plays his role in your life – he knows you need him to re-carve your smile on your face, at the same time pierce in again in your head the lessons of life. He also is the most resourceful person I know. In order to have something delicious in our plates and put spices in our lives, he did every way possible – from selling fish, cutting trees (Joke! Legally, of course!), buying and selling scrap materials, to facilitating a game in our community called paripa (I don’t know if this is legal though. Hehe! It’s some sort of a lottery but the prizes are groceries, meat, chicken, etc.) just to earn money. That’s my super dad! And I’m proud I’m like him.
•  Robert James P. Bariso and Kathleen Marie Bariso Bana. They are my cute siblings who remind me that I am living with a purpose. Not just the purpose of helping them finish studying but of enjoying life with them. As the eldest, I’m honored to be their role model (one of the several at least). It will give you a lot of pressure sometimes but at the end of the day, it will help you think twice to do the wrong steps you are tempted to do. Because you know it’s not just your life you are burning; you are also starting to light up the sparks on your siblings’ lives. It’s the learning they are imparting to me without them knowing. That’s why I love these kids the way I love myself.
•  Eufemia Pillejera. She’s the person I miss the most. My Lola Yuping thought me how to smile and dance cha-cha. J I felt I was her favorite apo and I’m so blessed I was born before she left this world. For quite a time, I’ve been asking myself where I got my being optimistic. Then I realized it’s from my Lola. This cute chubby granny did not frown until she was diagnosed with Cervix Cancer. But it was not the sadness from a cynic but the grief from a person who experienced pain. I miss it when we wake-up early to buy tuba for her to sell and roam around Masbate to get a giant guava (ahhh. The most delicious I’ve tasted), to buy powdered chocolate drink, and to visit her friends to introduce her cute apo. I miss hugging you and sitting on your lap, Lola!
•  Lolo Itan & Lola Tilet and the rest of the Balgemino Family. Our family moved to Legazpi City when I was two; away from my parents’ families. And this family treated us their blood. I’m sure my parents also learned many things from them (especially from Lolo Itan and Lola Tilet). But the lesson I want to remember my entire life is Balgemino’s thicker ties as family. That made them victorious. I also have a lot of memories with my childhood friends. Indeed, the best lessons you’ll learn in life are from the people who’ve been with you since childhood.
• Sarah Jane Balingasa. Haven’t had a smart talk with this lady for long. This woman is one of those who first believed in my potentials especially in hosting. J Sarah is a talented and confident (in a positive way) woman; and maybe that’s why many people try to pull her down. She treats every problem light yet never hesitates to let others see her tears (saw her cry nth times). J I miss you, Sah!
•  Rona A. Diaz. I treat this woman as one of my mentors. Ate Ronz can find the last piece of hope in you (if there’s such) you’ll not imagine you can still pull off. She’s best in giving advice, motivating others, and reprimanding you in the nicest way. I have her advices still rumbling in my head when I’m on the dead end. I don’t know where she gets the best motivational stories and the first-time-to-hear trivia which are so effective. And by the way, she’s the most organized person I know. I salute her being futuristic. I’m still learning to adapt her most effective way of planning – she writes everything. J
•  Joey P. Echaluce. Another mentor and Kuya. What I love about this man is his passion for the youth and his own community. He always reminds me to not forget our community. Also, this guy is so dedicated yet calm. You’ll not notice he has done the hardest though it already took him several tries. Aside from that, I salute his humility…the simplest gem I know.
• Raisa A. Espinas. I love Ate Rai’s being free-spirited. Enjoying life and living it to the fullest is her game. She wants to learn and just learn and learn and learn. This woman influenced me to be cool. She doesn’t worry or maybe it’s not evident in her whenever she faces challenges. She knows that there’s an antidote in every dilemma – just be patient and don’t be stressed.
• Charlene C. Orosco. The life of this girl is full of surprises and magic. I can’t call it spontaneity (I also can’t figure out fully how she spends her life like that). But I am so blessed by what is happening to her. Maybe it is bravery to keep on trying new things…and not inform everyone. J Charlene maximizes every talent she has and works out the best potentials in her. Though sometimes she loses self-esteem, I think she doesn’t notice that she’s enjoying every frustration’s learning. That what makes her awesome!
• Henor Gotis. She is one of my clowns. J Peace, Kambal! She is my first Kambal who reflects most of my life aspects. This woman knows how to play life. Her fart, I mean her laugh is her weapon. We share the same experiences and this lady is the one to remind me how to love my family. She joins me in declaring that someday we will live in a palace, eat the most sumptuous food, and travel the world – all these in our own simplest way. J
• Jessha Marquez and Caryl Gamis. These two are really combined. We treat each other brother and sisters. Though we are far from one another now, I know someday we will again spend life together. Jing and Alyl taught me how to value friendship. For us, friendship is like volunteering – you don’t ask something in return. We don’t expect one to make-up with what the other has done. We are responsible of our own lives yet we have our own roles to play in our friendship. We are now discovering our own paths but I know in time those tracks will meet.
• Jose Vicente Rapirap. I don’t know what’s happening to this man now but I know he can survive. JV influenced me how to be independent. For him walking alone is better. I considered him as my older brother; I always want to have one since I am the eldest. I remember one day when he wanted to transfer to other block when we were in college. I felt so sad as if someone’s leaving for a long time. Now, because of him I enjoy to always spend my ‘me-time’. Because of this man I can find happiness on my own. J
• Geenette M. Garcia. She’s my boss now. This woman influenced me to become generous and live simply. She never forget her experiences and always influence goodness to others. She’s the coolest boss. J
• Ma. Mae Bernados and Abigail Gay Banghal. These two also come together. They are my sweetest Ates. Though we became siblings just last July, I feel so loved by these ladies. Ate Mae and Ate Abby are one of the strongest people I know. They remind me that God is always there and He is faithful to His promises. They also push me to do the things I love. They believe in me and are one of my avid fans. Hehe!
• Harold Bantilan, Jr. He is my second Kambal. We became twin because we really look alike (I’m more handsome though. Hehe). But I really treat this man as my brother. The best learning you could get from him is how to be a ‘real’ man. Kambal is a gentleman. He was lost before but I know he learned his lesson. J This man loves to think; really deep that he worry every little thing. I am also like that that’s why I like being with him when my head is deluged because we could remind each other to be happily crazy. J Another thing I like about him is his being true. He can easily express his feelings to others. At the same time, he has the most sensitive senses. I think his sensory system can easily hear your most quiet cry and smell the things you need. 

Of course, God is the biggest influence in my life. And I thank Him for bringing these people to make me whole.

Disclaimer: Don't get mad if your name wasn't mentioned. Every person in my life has his own contribution and a million thanks to you all (assuming I have a lot of readers)!!! J