When Your Plan Seems Failing

As humans, it is normal to be disheartened when the harvest is weak. We feel such when we've already invested a lot in the sowing and the cultivation stages. When storm and plague suddenly ruined the crop, we tend to blame ourselves, others, or sometimes, God.

We love mapping our way, planning our future, or preparing too soon. There are no problems in doing these because we want to invest more on something we value. This is the reason why we expect big. Big in a sense that often, we want an easy way, an instant result, or an excellent outcome. However, expecting big sometimes results to big disappointments.

I am reading Moses’ journey of freeing Israelites from Pharaoh’s regime in Egypt, as he obediently followed God’s commands with Aaron’s help. There were several attempts which all first resulted to Israelites’ still being in captive. But Moses did not run out of courage and strength. Though at first hesitant to follow the Lord’s purpose for him, Moses’ faith brought him to the fulfillment of his goal of pursuing his people.

But what really kept Moses from trying when he already failed numerous times? And what might be the things that drove him to hang on?

While reading his journey, I realized that aside from Moses’ faith, it is his OBEDIENCE that brought him to success. At first it is easy to obey, but real obedience demands accomplishing the whole cycle of obeying (just obey, obey, obey, and obey). Many times, it is quite easy to obey, yet often, we also simply give up in the middle of completing the reason why we followed.

We tend to leave everything when none’s going well. When we feel like running from the mess, let us always remember that God is the One who commanded us to do what we are doing (I hope He really is). That should keep us from going.

Moses failed numerous times but he did not stop because he knew the commands were from God. When we know that a certain instruction is from the Lord, we will believe it will come to pass, no matter how hard or how far. And just like Moses, we need to worship the Lord even after every failure. Worship in times of trouble lets people know that ‘there’s no one like the Lord our God’ (Exodus 8:10).

As I continued reading Moses’ story, I got puzzled with the phrase “the Lord hardened Pharaoh’s heart” mentioned several times. Then I started to realize that God really allows bad things to happen for a purpose. And this I think was the thing that drove Moses from hanging on. He knew that his journey will be hard as the Lord allowed it. But he also knew he will finish it so he kept trying until the time he made it. 

Questions That Don’t Matter

I got an encounter with a demon today.

I visited the nearest mall from our apartment -- wearing my newest eyeglasses, basketball shorts, slippers, and shirt -- to eat my comfort food, Lola Nena’s Bulaluhan’s malunggay noodle soup with siomai. I never thought my one-day-old eyeglasses would catch this man’s attention while we were in the line to the cashier. He asked, “Saan mo pinagawa ‘yang frame mo (Where did you get your frame)”, while pointing to my eyewear. Then I said, “Sa office ko to nakuha. May doktor po kasi kami dun (I got this from the office. We have a doctor there).” And to make the story short, I got to introduce to him Operation Blessing Philippines, Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN) Asia, including my church, while I was paying my food.

To balance the conversation, I asked where he is attending church. His response surprised me. “Magugunaw kasi ang church pag pumasok ako (The church will tear down when I get in).” I assumed he was the usual person we used to minister -- pitying himself and sees forgiveness passing on to this world. So, I said with confidence and motivation, “Jesus loves you, Kuya (brother)!” He smiled and I thought he was happy for what he heard. Not until he uttered this in whisper to my ear, “Demonyo ako na nagtatago sa katawan ng tao (I am a demon hiding inside a man’s body)." It was as if the environment froze, and I did not know what to answer. I relaxed to show him I wasn’t scared. The thing I thought to let him know he cannot deceive me was to throw another question and not leave without saying anything. I asked, “Paano mo naman nasabi, Kuya (How did you say that, brother)?”

I got my order and I thought of leaving him with the hanging question; as if telling him you did not win. But he said, “Sige, sundan kita kung saan ka uupo (Okay, I’ll join you where you’ll sit).” I had no choice but to accept the challenge. Before eating and letting him reach my table, I prayed for God’s wisdom and grace. I cannot narrate far-reaching our more than an hour conversation. But let me highlight some questions he threw to me during our talk. First, “Why did God said in Genesis “let US make man”, when He was alone then. Is He really the only God?” Second, “Are you sure God is in your church?” Third, “Is Jesus really coming the second time around? Can He come again?” And last, “Why did God let Lucifer’s power remain?”

I will not tell how I responded in every question, but honestly, some I was not sure I answered correctly. I am not a theologian, yet I am also not making it an excuse to not know God more. In fact, that experience urged me study Bible deeper. Those questions don’t really matter but WILL matter.

Knowing and believing will get in the issue. That man knows God, may be more than I, but does not believe Him. The reason is, he knows God wrongly. Wrongly might be because he just wants to be different, but for sure evil is controlling him. Believing is another thing. When you believe, you will obey, and in obeying you will experience. If I am a person without a real relationship with God, I would have nodded a lot and got deceived by that man. 

The real sweet taste of a cake will never change for a man who already ate one. No matter how others will convince him that a cake is salty, he will never believe. But if he never tasted one, he might get fooled of a salty cake others will let him taste first. I pity that man he first tasted the salty cake.

That man disclosed it was his first time at that mall and just went there to eat after a business appointment nearby. He said he ‘did not think he would talk to a warrior of God in the place.’ During the last part of our conversation he said, “Akala ko made-demonyo kita (I thought I could deceive you).”

I felt joy I did not run from that demon’s challenge and God was with me in responding. Then, I realized how important it is to minister to other people. And not just introducing Jesus, but helping them have a real relationship with Him.

So blessed I have an encounter with God daily.

4 Things My Colleagues Should Know Before I Leave CH

March will end I will already be leaving my comfort for one year and a half. May be my colleagues would expect me to make something ‘cheesy’ as they used to tease me to give a message during my despedida dinner.  But sorry guys, here are not tear-jerkers but things I need to confess to you all which will surely amuse you and hopefully will give you a good vibe. As I leave (since Miss Net could not reprimand me for some of these anymore) I would like you to know that:

1. These are my favorite places in the office.

I know Pat’s favorite place is the pantry and Anna the conference room, but believe it or not, these are mine. The reason is…they used to be my beds! You read that right! You may not notice it, but when I was out sometimes for five minutes without telling anybody, I was probably inside the CR sleeping. I’ll leave it to your imaginations how I was able to have my naps on the toilet bowl. Also, these triplet chairs were my comforts after immersions when I was on my own! Huhu! Often I’d woke up so late (around 8pm) after a half day event. So guys, I believe there’s no mumu in the office! Be more scared with Tita K (peace Tita K)!

2. This is my real reaction whenever you have girl-talks.

I may seem used to hearing you discuss about your PMS or Channing Tatum, but honestly, sometimes I would like to make this face. And not just because of this! I think it’s innate to women to repeat a topic to discuss on in a week. I was usually amazed when you all give the same thrill on a story that was just told few days back! Amazing girls! I don’t want to give examples; it’s for you to find out! Hehe!

3. I did covers inside the office.

You all know that I am a frustrated singer and I am so happy that I have a few fans from Children’s Hour. So, I know you’ll understand why I did these. You’ll remember the times I would leave the office last (but I did not file OT! Hehe!), those were the times I would record songs. Unfortunately, I was only able to make a cover of Jason Mraz's Details in the Fabric (and it's not that good). And worst, my first video which was supposed to be a present for my mother on her birthday was a crap! Hahaha!

   

4. I love you all!

Now here’s what you all want! Hehe! I don’t want you to see me cry but honestly, guys, I will really miss you. And I hope I will also not make you cry because of this. I just want to say thank you and I really love you my friends and my Ates! I am not good in saying this in person so better do this through this blog. I certainly am enjoying life because you are all part of it. I want to say sorry because I am making you sad (assuming ako) and I'll be leaving so early. Yet I know you understand and that’s the thing I will be so proud about you all, you are so mature!

I will not see you during weekdays anymore but for sure our adventures will not end. I have a lot of prayers for Children’s Hour and for each of you. And I claim God will answer it all. I am still with you in making this world a better place, one hour at a time!

This chapter of my life taught me three things. First, that there is no perfect place; YOU NEED TO MAKE ONE! Second, GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU! And third, YOU NEED TO SURROUND YOURSELF WITH AWESOME PEOPLE. J

No Secret at All

Dreaming of having a girlfriend never came in my mind; I always envision how my family would look like. And I often have our family as my basis of a happy one (minus scarcity and other problems, of course). I always dream and aim of a perfect family but I’m mature enough to acknowledge that there will be plenty of spices that will come our way. I am so excited to have my own wife and children because my parents let me experience how happy it is. There are major and minor challenges but those never discouraged me to stay firm that I’ll marry at 27 (hopefully) and will have my 3 children (at least? Hehe) -- Mama and Papa treat problems joyfully.

In their 22 years of marriage, I only saw them fight once. That was the time I cannot sleep because I’m scared Mama would leave us. But that misunderstanding did not even last for a week. May be when you’ll ask them what’s the secret of their happy and even getting-stronger relationship, they’ll just say they don’t know or there are no secrets at all. But I think here are the reasons why after 22 years they still sleep together and these are the points I want to remember when I already have my own family.

They love God. My parents are not Christians yet but they are the firsts to teach me how to have a relationship with God. Mama taught me how to talk to God just like a friend and Papa encouraged me to trust Him. God is the center of our family. There were no challenges treated impossible because we know He is bigger than anyone or anything else.

They know each other. Before getting married, my parents were really good friends. They used to work with the same company. And I still see that friendship until now. They know how to make each other laugh, how to appease the other, or the right thing to do when you’re asking something.   

They know life. They got married when Papa’s 28 and Mama’s 26 and I assume they’ve been to a lot of things before committing to be a husband and a wife. They enjoyed every season of their lives and evident that they were ready to have children.

They know their children. What I love about my parents is their love. I can really feel it and may be that’s the reason why they have the best children. Hehe! They let us experience happiness and that is what we give back to them. They have a real relationship with us and they know us so well.

Mama, Papa, God did not let us choose our parents but I am so thankful that you are my mother and father. We might be in testing time right now pero gusto kong alalahanin nyo kung gaano tayo kamahal ng Panginoon. Alalahanin nyo na matatag kayo at iyon ang itinuro nyo sakin. Gusto kong makita na ganoon pa rin kayo -- hindi sumusuko at lagi lang masaya. Minsan nakakapagod, parang walang katapusan, pero tiwala lang! Ang kayamanan ay nasa ating mga ngiti! Naks! Haha! 

I love you, Mama and Papa! Stay sweet as if every day is your wedding and love God more! HAPPY 22^nd WEDDING ANNIVERSAY!

To My Brother

Today I decided to recall those days when you were still in Mama’s tummy. I decided to feel again the excitement which got so intense every day for nine months. I want to bring back those moments when I was six-years old. For six long years I felt alone and hopeful that one day, I’ll hug a buddy. The most exciting part then aside from your birth was the brainstorming on what name we should give you. Well, I contributed some but I think our parents did not like them. Yet I was so happy when Robert James came to our lives dated March 10, 1998.

Time really went so fast and this year you will turn 16 already. I know this will be one of your memorable years for you will enter college. I tell you, it will really be; in a positive and negative way. Just maintain that thrill because that will lead you to learning. Don’t hesitate to call, brother! I’m not here to dictate you how to spend your college-life but to guide you how to make it awesome.

You know what I want to bring back? It’s that time when I was naïve and not thinking how I can live life and put cash in my pocket. Because it’s the time when I was your strict teacher and we were with our door that we used as blackboard; it’s during Christmas when we bravely created our two-membered choral with spoons and forks as our instruments (because we did not want to share aguinaldo with other kids); it’s when we were rolling on each other in bed before sleeping; it’s when we were flying kites with Papa; it’s when we quarrel who to wash the dishes; and it’s when we play together.

J, now I want to say sorry. Sorry because I was your brother only until Kuya was 13 and you seven. Sorry because after that, I became eager chasing happiness, success, fame, wealth. Sorry because I felt we were so different in many aspects when you began to search your horizon. Sorry because I became cold and short-tempered. Sorry because Kuya did not reach out. Instead, I played on my own.

I know my selfishness resulted to challenges you are experiencing now. Let me be your Kuya again. I am trying to be more open to you and I hope you will, too. Kuya is just here and let’s be the best of friends. I want to share these things which I should have shared to you before. These are the two words I want you to remember:

Be Yourself

You don’t have to be Kuya or anyone in this world. And you don’t have to please anyone even Mama, Papa, your teachers, or your friends. Just live with the heart that’s align with God and the rest will follow. I am praying that someday you’ll completely understand what I am saying.

When I was in high school, they used to tease me gay, lame, unfashionable, boring. But they never called me idiot or stupid because they know I was not. I am so grateful until now that God made me realize that the coolest and bravest men are with Him.

But I also tried to be the ‘cool’ guy this world is telling us. I tried hard to fit in the standard of the society. There I tried my first and last sift of smoke (I really hate that feeling), drunk until I lost conscience, and cut several classes. Now you know I tried those when all this time you assumed I did great with my life (but please don’t tell Mama and Papa. Hehe!). Those experiences brought me temporary happiness. After that I felt guilty, ashamed, and hopeless.

What I want to tell you is to have the right mind-set of learning and happiness. You will achieve this when you know who you are and live wholly as the person you want to be. I know you don’t want to be the RJ who smokes, who gets sober, without dreams. I know you want to achieve something big for you and our family. Then, focus on those dreams! Be with the right people! Make the right steps! Choose the things that offer real learning and everlasting happiness.

I believe I will see a great man someday. And I’ll remain proud that I am his Kuya. Robert James Pillejera Bariso knows God; always hits the baseball for a home run; will be one of the most successful electrical engineers or businessmen; and will be the best husband and father.

J, you don’t need to be perfect in our eyes. You just need to be the son of God. Accept Him and acknowledge that He wants the best for you. WE LOVE YOU! – Kuya J

5 Ways to Happiness

Before, I thought happiness is a choice but eventually I realized it’s a skill. You can’t wake-up in the morning merely saying, ‘I’ll be happy today’. I’m not saying it’s bad, in fact, for me it’s the first step. Being happy is a skill you need to learn. Like any process in life, there is no shortcut. A man wasn't born happy (actually baby cries first during birth, right?J); he needed to learn how to smile, to laugh, and in time make others smile, too.

I remember a friend who asked me how I manage to keep calm and be happy despite the unnecessary circumstance. Straightway I said, ‘I don’t know’, and then I was puzzled. How do I really treat the things that hinder me to be happy? Thanks to that friend because that question brought me to these words now. And this will also serve as a written reminder to me whenever I need to re-learn happiness. Also, I want to help that friend by sharing these answers to his question.

On my part, here’s the five ways I consider to maintain my handsome-ness (I mean my happiness J). But you know what, being joyful really helps you to be the you-don’t-look-your-age guy or gal. At least, these ways work for my case and I discovered these entirely on my own experience. Probably, these will thoroughly help you or these will (in some point) help you ponder on your own ways to happiness. By the way, since these also serve as a reminder to me, allow me to speak in second person without making an impression that I’m the Mr. I-Know-Everything.

PLAY WITH NUMBERS. Know your priorities; who or what to be the first and the last. In my case, my priorities are these: (i) God; (ii) Family; (iii) Work/Career and; (iv) Friends. I see these categories never to be changed or added my entire life though I still don’t have a girlfriend because I know eventually she’ll fall on family.J Your priority list needs to be firm that way. Because if not, you’ll only get frustrated why everything doesn’t work good. Just like in organizing, planning should always come first. Who’s the planner in the first place? Isn’t it God? I hope your first priority is Him alone also.

When you know who or what to choose, you’ll always make the right decision. This always happen to me and I know to you, too. Aside from the fact that this way always whispers you the right choice, it is also a good time-saver. You’ll realize when you know your priorities that you are not wasting a moment. Let’s go back in planning -- you can’t implement something when it is not planned; you’ll only waste time and resources. Lastly, playing with numbers keeps good relationships. They said the secret to a happy relationship is time. And you can’t give time to someone if you don’t know when to give it to them. You can’t give ENOUGH time to something or someone when you are juggling things or (I hope not) people.

USE YOUR OWN SHOES. Be unique! You don’t need to fit in someone else’s shoes. We are born with different talents, skills, likes, and passion. What makes you happy may be or may not be the things that make others happy; chances are those things make them sad. When you know what shoes fit you, you’ll not be tempted to try other people’s footwear -- you’ll not get insecure.  You’ll see yourself fighting and fulfilled. Find your niche and sing your song!

The horizon is wide and dreams are given to each and every one. It’s more rewarding to tick in your own boxes of goals in life. No one can erase and change the purpose God has painted in your life EXCEPT Him alone. People that surround you may say otherwise or your environment is building an unending blocks but never give-up. And keep moving! Because may be yes you are wearing your own shoes, but you are not using it. If you know you’re good at something, work out to be better. Never get tired to learn from your mistakes. Aim for the best. Embrace success!

LAUGH ALONE. If you’re alone in an island and all the resources you need to survive for one year are there, will you LIVE? Life isn’t a survival quest; rather, it’s a living game. You need your family and friends, but accept the fact that there will come a day you’ll live alone (hugging just your pillow, listening only to your MP3, and talking to yourself). When that day comes, you need to laugh alone; you need to learn to find happiness on your own.

I am not saying you fake your smiles or you make fool of yourself. Rather, learn to be independent! Smile a real smile or laugh a loud laugh though nobody’s around. I think this will work when you know who you are and you are living the life you want to live. When you are on that island, will you take the risk to discover something? That might be a new game out of shells; new species of birds; new ways to build fire; or new constellation of stars. How you could do that, I don’t know, too. But isn’t that fun and exciting? And last question, when you are in that island alone, will you still praise God? How will you talk to Him? Thank Him or ask several questions?

GET RICH. I know wealth will lead you to happiness -- to limited or to unending one. I want the latter but I am not talking of money here. Precious things on earth are more than just that. I am talking about getting rich in relationship. Live more for more friends, relatives, teachers, and buddies!

Last month I wrote about the Influential People in my life. These people are just some of my richness. As I have said, choose an unending wealth. Befriend the right people! These people accept who you are and do not coerce you to change to fit in the clique. And eventually, these are the people who will tell you bluntly the things you need to change.  They will help you to become better.

SWALLOW GIANTS. Make the impossible! Who can tell what are the impossible in this world anyway? If God says you to do this, never think-twice. Even though that is to walk from east to west.

For me the first step to trusting God is to dream big. When you have dreams in life, you have goals and you know where you want to go. It’s never easy to get to your destination. However, instead of taking it as a hard task, take it as a challenging course. When you have dreams, you are living. And when you are already there, give all the glory back to God.

There you have it! LIVE LIFE! THRIVE! 

Unfinished Business

Photo by: Google

Last night, I browsed through the old files in my computer then suddenly bumped with my old articles. Below is my unfinished work I tried to come alive when I was in college. I remember I want to finish this as a self-requirement to right a short story in Tagalog. But I guess I did not have enough inspiration that time so instead of 'xxx', this article ended with '...'. Now I don't know how to continue. Somehow I like how I crafted this; not good for a Tagalog story (I guess). I hope you'll enjoy reading, too. And hopefully my memory will bring back the lost words. J

PASADA

Hindi pa sanay ang aking pandinig sa ingay ng mga pabrikang halos saklaw ang buong paligid ng aming tinitirahan. Bago pa sa aking pang-amoy ang hindi kaaya-ayang hangin na aming nalalanghap. Iwas na iwas pa ang aking pandama sa maalikabok na hanging dumadampi sa aming mga balat. Hirap pa ring imulat ng aking mga mata sa masaklap na katotohanan ang aking sariling hindi pa rin tanggap ang aming madilim na kapalaran.

Nabanggit ko ang mga katagang ito na tangan-tangan hindi lamang ang aking sarili. Kasama ko ang aking dalawang anak na babae at asawa na kagaya ko ay sanay pa rin sa mga tandang na nanggigising, hangin na animo’y nangyayapos at nagpapagaling, at mga halama’t bundok na nagpapamulat ng totoong pag-asa.

Halos ang buong diwa namin ay uhaw na muling gumalaw sa tahanang inakala naming palaluan. Nais na naming makawala sa aming kinasasadlakan. Kahit papaano ay gusto kong maiba naman sa lahat ng aming mga gunita ang pumupuno sa aming tiyan. Hindi ko masisikmura na maging ang pagkaing papasok sa aming kalamnan ay kasing dumi at baho ng kapaligirang aming ginagalawan. Sa aking pamilya ako humuhugot ng pag-asa.

Nais salain ng aking dibdib ang amoy na aking nalalanghap at singhutin ang bango ng masarap na sinangag na nakahain sa aming hapag. Ang tustadong bawang ang nagpagana sa aming panlasa upang kahit ang kahuli-hulihang butil ng aming agahan ay magpapuno sa aming tiyan. Walang ano mang ulam, dasal ko na ang pagkaing ito ay magbibigay ng lakas sa aming buong araw.   

Nagsimula man na walang bago, ramdam ko na mayroong kakaiba sa araw na ito. Malulutong na halik at matatamis na ngiti ang pabaon ng aking mag-iina bago ko tuluyang baybayin ang landas na kailangan kong tahakin. Bakas sa kanilang mga mukha ang pag-aalala bago ko pa man buksan ang aming pintuan. Waring kakaibang mundo ang nag-aabang sa akin sa likod ng manipis na kahoy na nagsisilbing pananggalang ng aming tahanan. Mahigpit na yapos naman ang aking isinukli upang kahit papaano’y mawala ang kanilang pag-aalala.

Mabilis kong isinara ang pintuan matapos akong makahakbang sa labas ng aming bahay. Isan-daan at dalawampung hakbang pa papalabas – bilang ko na ang yabag na aking bubunuin upang makaalpas sa waring kulungang aking kinabibilangguan. Ingat na ingat ang aking mga paa sa paglakad. Iba’t iba man ang ginagawa nila, batid ko na sila ay tila mga ahas na manunuklaw sa oras na ako’y may gawing mali o kahit sila’y makaramdam ng kaba mula sa akin. Dahil dito ay naging gawain ko nang bahagyang iyuko ang aking ulo at dumiretso sa paglalakad.

Kaliwa’t kanan, araw-araw kong natutunghayan ang kakaibang mundo ng mga taong ito. Mga batang matatas kung magmura at laro ni kamatayan ang alam paglibangan; mga mamang hindi ko mawari kung saan galing ang pangtustos sa kanilang mga bisyo; mga aleng may matatag na batok sa maghapong pagyuko kaharap ang mga baraha; at mga binata’t dalagang marahil ay mas ninais mag-aral sa kalsada. Siguro ay tanggap ko na ang mga sitwasyong ito, subalit ang hindi ko matanggap ay ang katotohanang ang aming pamilya ay kabilang na sa kanila…batid ko mang kami ay naiiba.

Hindi ko hinayaang huminto ang aking mga paa hanggang sa ika-isang daan at dalawampu’t isang hakbang nito papalabas sa iskinitang iyon. Bansag nga ng karamihan na iyon daw ang ‘daanan ni kamatayan’. Hindi naman sila masisisi sapagkat iyon ang kanilang nakikita at batid man ito ng mga taga roon ay tanggap na nila ito. Pabor nga sigurong maituturing sapagkat walang sinumang dayo ang nangangahas gumawa ng gulo sa kanilang teritoryo. Maging ang mga opisyal ng gobyernong nais silang paalisin ay bahag na ang mga buntot ng minsan silang kuyugin ng mga residente.  

Medyo malayu-layo pa rin ang paradahan ng sasakyan sa labasan ng daanan ni kamatayan. Ngunit gustuhin ko mang sumakay na lamang, mas pipiliin kong maglakad sapagkat alam kong sapat lamang ang laman ng aking bulsa sa aking pakay. Tagaktak man ang aking pawis bago pa man makarating sa aking pupuntahan, napapawi naman ang...